She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Floor bacon is actually really good
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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