i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i drank out of a bidet.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
