What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
