I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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