dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize