why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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