Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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