you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm always down for nudity.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
