I think my vagina is haunted
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
