There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Pooping to opera.
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