y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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