Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
