Got a toothbrush?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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