My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
