I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
