haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
