You smell like a Billy Joel song
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
