She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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