my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
