Quick, to the slutcave!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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