in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
