That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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