Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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