Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
