I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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