ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
