I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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