Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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