I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Found your dick twin last night
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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