my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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