But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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