Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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