I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
