I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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