We won't sleep together?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
