i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
