Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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