I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
