Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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