I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
