Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
