I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
