guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
