I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
