Midget sex pt 2 tonight
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
