I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
time to smoke my breakfast
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize