whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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