Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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