Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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