somebody snuck up and got me drunk
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
