Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
