I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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