I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
