My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
