I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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