y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
