no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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