O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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