on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Four minutes until I can fart!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
