No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
