i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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