Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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